CodeName Zel and Mel
by Hyper-Fangirls-Without-Sleep
Summary: In a time, and a place known as Japan... a great evil has descended upon the Anime world, and it's up to a pair of supporting cast Anime characters to save them all... Couldn't provide enough food for Lina and Gourry... and we like Z/A!


Well this is the brainchild of two very strange minds… Z/A gal kellychan and poetry gal Robochars. We have one heck of a warped sense of humor… This fic… is a satire of anime, slayers, and even the industry. OH yeah and we make fun of ENGRISH! PG-13 for echhi humor.

Codename Zel and Mel

Nothing is Sacred

Chapter I:

Mission Assigned

Kelly and Bethany 'nuff said.

"Mmm, Mr. Zelgadiss those hot pots were so good! We gotta go back there sometime!" Amelia smiled as she patted her stomach and looked over at her quiet traveling companion.

"Yeah, they were okay but I preferred the one's in Atlas City that we had a couple years back." Zel continued walking at a brisk pace and shrugged. 

"Hey Mr. Zelgadiss, weren't we supposed to meet Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry after we ate?" Zel just shook his head.

"They'll catch up, there's no way I was going to wait for them to clean out that pizzeria," Zel smiled lightly to himself and looked back at the princess. "Hey Amelia, do you hear something?" he said as his ears perked up. Amelia looked around and shrugged.

"Not really Mr. Zelgadiss…" Zel sighed.

"Right of course… you wouldn't be able to hear it would you. I can hear a lot better than you because…" 

Insert random Zel angst here

"Mr. Zelgadiss, don't be depressing… this is a happy trip!" Amelia said with her hands under her chin and stars in her big blue eyes. Zel sweatdropped.

"Right… 'happy trip,'" he shook his head, "Yeah! Trips with Zelgadiss Greywords are just bursting with happiness." Amelia sensed the sarcasm in his voice and shut her hole. 

"Speaking of holes… what's that?" Amelia looked over to a tree with a large hole in it…

"Okay what brought up holes anyway?" Zel asked then looked over at the tree. It was labeled "plot hole" in Katakana and Engrish. 

"Mr. Zelgadiss… what's a Purotu Horu?" Amelia said as she read the Engrish. Zel shrugged.

"I think they mean 'plot hole,'" Zel said, "A plot hole is…"

"I know what a plot hole is Mr. Zelgadiss," she smiled and approached the plot hole, after noticing the small print under it. "Welcome to this Enjoyable Purotu Horu," she read. "In this purotu horu you will find a new experience that is both refreshing and stylish." Zel went up and read the rest.

"Zerugadisu Gureiwaszu and Ameria Uiru Tesura Sarune this horu is for you… you have to go in NOW!!!" Zel gulped as he read the rest, "With Much sincerity, Someone more powerful than L-Sama." Zel sighed, "It can't be!" Amelia smiled nervously.

"I guess that means we have to go in Mr. Zeru-- I mean Zelgadiss."

"Yeah I guess so…" Amelia took his hand.

"On three we jump!" Zel nodded in agreement. "One… Two… Three," and the now hapless princess and chimera jumped into the swirling abyss of the purotu horu.

Insert swirling abyss here

Now out of the swirling abyss, our heroic heroes find themselves in a large meeting room with a bunch of middle aged to elderly Japanese men in purple and green suits.

"Ahh! You two must be Zerugadisu and Ameria-Hime," One of the older men said. Zel blinked and came to a stunning realization.

"The only explanation here is…" he looked over at the princess, "We've been sucked out of our canceled anime universe and into the world of… well… reality."

"Very good my young pen and ink friend!" said one green suited man with a large gap in his teeth. Amelia looked thoroughly confused.

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" she pulled on his sleeve, "What are you talking about?" Zel looked for a logical way to explain something he knew but was never quite sure how he knew… _Maybe it was a side effect of being turned into a chimera,_ the chimera thought to himself.

"Well Amelia… me and you, Lina, Gourry, your father… we're all character in a TV show, that people watch for entertainment. Like a play, but on a little box." Amelia blushed.

"They don't watch all our lives do they?" Zel blushed himself.

"Only if it's a hentai," one of the old Japanese men said. "Slayers isn't a hentai, it can't be. In all hentai the main female must have humongous breasts." Zel and Amelia looked relieved and prayed to L-Sama that Lina would never have a growth spurt. Amelia just stood there trying to process the fact that she was… well a cartoon, a fictional character. Zel on the other hand got right to the point.

"So why are we here, us of all people. Our show was canceled five years ago and we aren't even the main characters." Anime exec. Number five pulled on his collar.

"We thought you two were a good choice for this current mission. Yes your show was canceled, but you just had a mini movie last year, and there are still a couple fan doujinshi being made with you two, so you aren't completely dead yet, plus "Slayers" is popular with American Anime fans." Amelia decided she wouldn't even ask and the executive continued, "Yes well you two are powerful and intelligent, you make a good team."

"So why not Lina and Gourry," Zel asked.

"We're on a tight budget, you two are much cheaper to feed." He shrugged, "Considered Xellos and Filia but those two would never get the job done, we might also have a large pile of dead seishi, senshi and whatever if Xellos did it." The chimera nodded.

"Yes of course," Zel nodded, "So what's this mission you want us for?" A yellow suited man stood up and handed the princess and the chimera a sheet of paper. They read.

****

Agents: Zelgadiss Greywords and Ameria Wil Tesla Saillune

SECRET MISSION PAPERS, DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE SEE!

This is secret, please don't tell anyone.

Mission Statement of Agents on Loan to Big Powerful Anime Overlords:

You have been entrusted to complete a mission. We wouldn't have brought you here had it not been very important. You will do this mission with honor or we will erase your very existence from the annals of Anime.

~Thank You~

"Amelia," Zel looked over to the girl, "What's the mission." Amelia looked to the bottom of the page. 

****

~Please Turn Over for More Information~

She flipped the page and sighed as she read. Zel gulped in anticipation, praying to L-Sama this wouldn't be as bad as episode 17.

****

Your Mission- Read this mission carefully and the following FAQ full of answers to questions we know you will ask, and also some stupid one's that you most likely know the answer to. We really hope that you can get this mission completed successfully otherwise---

"CAN YOU JUST GET TO THE ACTUAL MISSION?!!!?" Zel yelled at the paper.

****

Okay onto the actual mission. This is your mission by the way. 

Your Names: Zelgadiss Greywords and Ameria Wil Tesla Saillune 

Their Quest: Bring back the shikon shards---err--- the shin-zha-hao--- err a bounty--- the reverse blade--- Pikachu, Nah Wing Zero... lost ships-- Defeat the Angels? No my Celestial robe! Oh who cares, they just have to do stuff to defeat this great evil and it has to be funny and embarrassing.

Their Favorite Color- Light blue and green respectively…

The reason: In a time, and a place known as Japan... a great evil has descended upon the Anime world, yes something about a great evil. Are these things ever clear in Anime?

FAQ-

What does all this mean?

Basically you two have to go into all these other Anime and find all kinds of relics and things while pretending to be main characters so you don't look suspicious. These things will be used to defeat this random great evil.

WHAT I AM SUSPICIOUS???!!!

Shut up Zelgadiss. Have you ever seen Pokemon or Sailor Moon? No, I doubt you have. Remember you guys no matter how bad your disguise is, no one will recognize you. It's an unwritten rule and you two fell for it in TRY with Jillas.

So how does this All Work? -

After donning your disguises you head into the Anime, and pretend to act out the plot of the characters you are portraying. You find the item, then you leave.

Will I have to dress in drag?

Most definitely, Zelgadiss… we do want this to be fun for us you know.

What's your favorite kind of cheese?

Cheddar and Mozzarella respectively.

Zel and Amelia sighed, like they had a choice. "Well Mister Zelgadiss, I think it may be kind of fun." Zel sneered.

"Maybe for you, dressing in boys clothes isn't so bad for a girl." Zel looked at the Anime Power Pushers and scowled. "Very well then." The man in the banana yellow suit smiled.

"Great then! So on three you two, and together!" Zel looked at Amelia. "One, Two, Three."

****

"Mission Accepted."

End part one

Just so you know… Next chapter is "Gundam Wing… Endless Crap"


End file.
